Dear Readers
Are you the one who takes everything so personally?
There are quite a few viable and valid answer to that question. We are putting ourselves to the centre and seeing everything—every event, conversation, circumstance, etc.—from the viewpoint of how it relates to us on a personal level. And this can have all kinds of conflicting effects, from feeling hurt when other people are rude, to feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect.
Of course, we are not perfect and we are not really at the centre of everything. That's not how things work in this universe.
Let's consider an example:
Someone came into the room in a really bad mood, puffling and huffing and addresses us in a rude way. At that moment, we think I don't deserve to be treated like this! They should know more salutary! And we are left upset, offended and angry. But, if we rewind that moment and realize that person’s behaviour has very little to do with us. They got exasperated at something outside the room, and now they’re reactively releasing their frustrations in front of us. "We just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
This does not justify their behaviour, but it needs to be acknowledged that we don’t waste too much of our cerebral energy positioning ourselves at the centre of the situation and taking everything personally.
I don't know if you ever notice: we inadvertently did something to someone that annoyed them, and now they’re reacting very rudely to us. A situation like this might seem personal, but is it really? Is the measure of this person’s rude reaction all about us and the one thing we did to trigger them?
No. it's probably not. According to the person's reaction, long term anger issues, snap-judgement and expectation. We are just a smaller piece of this larger story.
But, again we are seeing things like how it personally related to us- we tend to react to everyone else's action and personally judgemental or heart attacking words. Thus, Other people anger made us angry. Other's people lack attention and respect make us unworthy. And so on.
If you are agreeing your heads to any of this, it's time to start deflecting the nonsense negativity around us.
Whenever you sense the negativity push it back and remark it- is that not really about me or it's about you.
We are all dealing with our emotional issues and it makes them sometimes rude and rebelling. They are doing the best they can, or maybe they’re not even aware of their issues. In either case, you can learn not to interpret their behaviours as personal attacks.
This article is part of the Take control of your life.
This doesn't come naturally- Not taking things personally is an ongoing everyday practice:
How To Stop Taking Everything Personally
- Realise that other person's rudeness is not about you. When someone is rude it's likely to be a reflection of their own issue.
- Ask yourself what else the comment or behaviour might mean. For example, if someone doesn't smile and say hello! They might be shy.
- Take comments and criticisms in a constructive way. Ask yourself if there is any truth to it or what you can learn.
- Take another perspective. Assume how an outside would see the situation.
- You can't please everyone.
- You are not defined by your mistake or criticism. (one of my personal favourite)
- Your self-worth depends on you. It does not depend upon what others say about you.
Dear readers, share your thoughts. Let me know in the comment.
Until my next blog post, here's wishing you lots of joy and happiness!
With love,
Princy
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